Falling Inside the Black
by Flameses
Summary: Strangely, it seems as though his inner hollow isn't through tormenting him. It's just going to keep coming... And Ichigo can't deal with it anymore.  Named and partially inspired by the Skillet song "Falling Inside the Black"


_Named for and partially inspired by the song by Skillet "Falling Inside the Black" I love that song... And many of Skillet's other songs ^^_

_ Go! Look it up, listen to it as you read this, please._

* * *

**Falling Inside the Black**

* * *

Karakura Town was fairly restful that day. No hollows, no restless spirits. There hadn't even been any car accidents. It was strangely calm.

So, because of this, Rukia Kuchiki and Ichigo Kurosaki were at a loss for what to do with themselves. At Rukia's pestering, they had patrolled the town twice already, checking for any Shinigami work, but they had found none.

Ichigo had been fairly quiet, too. As Rukia dragged him after her to patrol a third time, he didn't protest at all. He just got up and followed her out of the Kurosaki residence.

_Ichigo's acting strange.._ She mused._ I wonder what's up? Normally he would have argued vehemently against going out for another patrol. We both know we're not going to find anything, anyway. Why is he so quiet?_

It hadn't helped her thoughts that Ichigo had allowed himself to be knocked down by his father's usual "Good Morning" attack. She could still hear him now...

"What? He got hit Daddy's crazy double-twist belly flop? You're going soft, my son!"

Yuzu burst in. "Daddy, why'd you hurt Ichigo? Don't be so mean!"

Isshin looked baffled. "...I.. I dunno. There must be something wrong with him. He must need his father's attention! Come, Ichigo, leap into your father's bosom! I can care for y-"

He was interrupted by Ichigo's slamming of the front door as he left.

Rukia couldn't help but be a little worried. The last time he'd let himself get knocked down by his father, he hadn't exactly been alright...

They continued to walk down the deserted street. Rukia was walking quietly behind Ichigo, lost in thought. Ichigo strode slowly, his hands in his pockets, head down. After a few minutes, she realized that she had unintentionally upped her pace and passed Ichigo. She stopped and turned to see how far behind he was. He was walking slower and slower until he stopped. He finally lifted his head and looked up at the sky, the sun covered by a few clouds.

He stood there like that for a few moments, Rukia studying him, before his legs went out from under him and he collapsed.

"Ichigo!" Rukia ran to Ichigo, just catching his head before it hit the ground hard. "Ichigo, are you alright? Answer me, Ichigo, come on!"

He didn't answer. His eyes were closed and his reiatsu signature was faint. She peeled back one of his eyelids just to make sure he was unconscious. His pupil didn't show any reaction to the light, confirming her thoughts.

She panicked for a few moments. _What do I do? What do I do? Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh..._

Just as quickly as the panic came on, it disappeared as her Shinigami training kicked in, allowing her to think more rationally. She pulled out her Soul Pager and held one of the speed dial buttons down. The Pager beeped a few times to confirm that it was calling.

After a few rings, the other end picked up.

"_Urahara Shoten, assistant-manager speaking. How may I help you?"_ said the deep voice on the other end.

"Tessai!" Rukia said quickly.

"_Miss Kuchiki! How can I help you?"_

"I need to speak to Urahara. It's an emergency. Now!"

Tessai knew better than to ask. _"Just a moment, Miss Kuchiki."_ There was some rattling on the other end, some mumbling. _"Here he is."_

"_Hello, Miss Kuchiki!" _came the amicable voice._ "What can I do for you today?"_

"Urahara! I need you to come, quick. There's something wrong with Ichigo! He just-"

"_Slow down, Miss Kuchiki. Don't explain, I'll be over in just a sec, okay?"_

"And no fooling around. I want you guys here NOW."

She could swear she heard him cringe a little._ "Hold your horses, be there as soon as I can."_

He hung up. After the put the Soul Pager away, she realized she hadn't told Urahara where she was. _He probably knew as soon as he picked up the phone_, she thought grudgingly.

Urahara and Tessai were there in just about a minute. "Oh, well this doesn't look too good," Urahara said, his face behind his fan. "Did ya kick him too hard or something? You know he'll come around soon, then, right?"

"I didn't kick him!" Rukia said, annoyed. She crossed her arms and looked at the ground, worried. "He's been acting weird all day. One minute he was in front of me, then he was behind me. I looked back to him and he just... collapsed. His reiatsu's all funny, too. When he collapsed, it just dropped. Way, way too low. Now it's fluctuating strangely. I'm sure you can feel that, right?"

Urahara nodded, saying "It's not fluctuating too dangerously now, but it'll get worse. I'll have to take him back to the Shoten for a better diagnosis." He nodded to Tessai, who bent and picked Ichigo up. They began to leave. Urahara looked back at Rukia. "Coming?" he asked. She nodded, and ran after them.

* * *

Back in the Shoten, Rukia leaned anxiously against a wall as they lay Ichigo down in the next room and began to check his spiritual pressure and various aspects of his reiatsu. After fully analyzing the substitute shinigami's reiatsu, Urahara invited Rukia into the room with the rest.

Her face was full of concern as she gazed down on Ichigo's face. It should have been calm in unconsciousness, but he looked strangely... Bothered? In pain? She couldn't quite tell what his furrowed face depicted.

Urahara began. "Ichigo's... ehh... well..."

Rukia caught the look on the shopkeeper's usual poker face. "He's... not alright, is he," she said quietly. It was more a statement than a question.

Urahara shook his head. "Believe it or not, I don't really know how to fix this. I mean, if he had come to me earlier, there may have been something I could have done. By now, though, it may be too late."

"But what's wr-" Rukia stopped at the sudden reiatsu signature she picked up from Ichigo. She paused. "Is it.. Is it something to do with-"

"His hollow?" Urahara answered. "Yes, it is. It's very strange, though. Like most of the Visoreds, I assumed he would be fine after winning the inner battle with his hollow. But, unlike the case of the Visoreds, I don't think that battle really ended like most of us thought it did. His current condition is much like before he battled his inner hollow."

"You mean, it's eating his from the inside? Again?"

"Yep. At this point, my analytical opinion is that it's too late to help him anymore." He stood. "I'm... sorry, Miss Kuchiki." He left the room.

Rukia stayed for a little while, sitting next to Ichigo. She stared at a spot just beyond him on the floor for several minutes. It didn't seem as though he would wake anytime soon, so she got up and left the room to find Urahara.

When she finally found the shopkeeper, she asked "What's going to happen to him? What's going to be causes by all of this?"

The former captain tried to wave her away. "I don't think I should tell you that, Miss Kuchiki. You don't really want to know." He began to walk away.

"I asked, so I'm pretty sure I want to know!" she said angrily, grabbing the back of his robe and pulling him around.

The shopkeeper saw the look in her eyes and knew he couldn't lie to her. He sighed. "As he continues to fail to prevent his inner hollow from destroying him, his condition will drastically deteriorate. As time goes on, he's going to lose control of mental and motor functions. In other words, he's going to get very weak, and very sick. He may- he will most probably lose much of his sanity along the way until he-" he stopped.

"Until he what, Urahara?" Rukia asked, the anger in her voice mixed with sorrow and worry.

He took a deep breath. "Until he dies, Miss Kuchiki. Well, I suppose not really until he dies, but until he loses the strength to control the hollow within him anymore. And then-"

He paused as Rukia stormed down the hall back to the room where Ichigo was. He could hear her stifling sobs. He quietly finished his sentence. "And then that hollow of his will take over his vast reserves of spiritual energy. And that hollow will use it to do what it loves most- to begin killing."

* * *

Rukia sat by Ichigo until he woke up. He groaned, sat up, and opened his eyes. Rubbling his temples, he looked around and saw her, staring at him. "Hey, Ruki-"

She interrupted him by punching him in the face. "You idiot!"

"Wha-"

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell us- tell _me_ there was something wrong? When you're having trouble, that's when you tell your friends, Ichigo! That's why friends are there, we're here to help when you're in trouble! I could have helped, Ichigo, we all could have!"

He caught her drift. A sad look came across his face. "I didn't want to burden you guys with any of my problems."

"I can't believe you! Didn't want to _burden_ us? You can't be Mister I'm-So-Strong-I-Can-Do-It-All-By-Myself all the time! Your problems are my problems. Can't you ever figure that out?"

He was going to retort, but stopped when he saw the tears in her eyes. "You need to speak up and let us help you sometimes, Ichigo," she said quietly, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm fine now, Rukia, you don't need to worry," he said as he tried to stand. He couldn't stand up. "Wait, what?" he said at his inability to get up.

"You see now, Ichigo?" Rukia said quietly. "You're not okay, you're not alright. Urahara said it was too late, Ichigo. Please, just tell me the truth about what's going on."

Like Urahara, Ichigo saw the look on her face, in her eyes, and couldn't lie to her. He downcast his eyes. "It's been going on for a few months now. I thought I was supposed to be fine after the Visoreds helped me, but after a point, he began coming back. Nagging at me. Well, that was how it was in the beginning. After a while, it was every time I tried to sleep. Now I can scarcely close my eyes without him being there.." He shuddered. "He's eating me up, and this time I can't stop him. I thought I could, at first, but now.. There's no magical cure, no duel I can fight to get everything back. I'm done."

"I know normally, I tell you not to give up," Rukia said. "This time, though, it's too late. You've already given up, and you're just waiting for the inevitable. There's nothing I can say to get you out of this, is there?"

Ichigo nodded. "I'm sorry Rukia," he said, asking her to forgive him. "I never thought I was the type to give up, either. It wasn't really a choice, but he's just too strong this time. I have nothing left to fight him with. Maybe this is the price I pay for the power I've had.." His voice drifted off, and his head nodded to the side.

Rukia started for a moment, then realized that he just passed out. _He's already too weak,_ she thought. She wanted to stay with him, but she had to leave at the present time. "I'll be back in a few days, Ichigo," she whispered, then left.

* * *

Over the next few days, hollows hit Karakura Town like a wave. Rukia worked hard to keep them from harming anyone, but still checked up with Urahara at least twice a day. The news wasn't good- Ichigo's condition was rapidly deteriorating. She wasn't able to come back for 4 days, but she came back to Urahara Shoten on the fifth day.

She passed Tessai on the way to the room. "He's not conscious right now," Tessai informed her. She nodded her head and entered the room.

Within a few minutes of her being there, Ichigo regained consciousness. "Hi," she said quietly.

He nodded a greeting, then suddenly closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. After a few moments, he relaxed.

"Are you okay? Well, not okay, but feeling alright?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. His voice was much softer than it usually was. He tried to say something else, but it sounded strange. He coughed a few times, then tried again. "Sorry," he croaked, "My voice is going in and out. Sometimes it's fine, others, not so much." He gave a faint grin.

She returned a watery grin. "What was that, just now?"

"What? Oh. He was just trying to get out again."

"You think he'll get out anytime soon?"

"Nah. I think I can hold him until.. Well, until I'm really done, this time."

"Alright." She didn't know what else to say. The hollow made a few more attempts, during which she tried to distract him from the pain by jabbering on about the goings-on of Karakura and the Seireitei. After a while, he fell asleep, and she left quietly.

She continued visiting Ichigo every few days. As time went by, she started to see more of the symptoms Urahara had mentioned coming about. His mind was starting to go, his sanity slipping away. It tore her apart to see him like that, and every time she came, it was worse.

He was hallucinating, seeing hollows that weren't really there. Jinta told her that Tessai occasionally had to use binding Kido or hold him down physically to prevent him from going after these visions.

Sometimes, when she visited, he didn't know who she was. Once, when he awoke to find her there, he thought she was his mother. She couldn't bear to tell him otherwise, so she just stayed with him and held his hand, talking to him soothingly. Once, she tried to leave before he passed out.

"Please, don't leave me alone, Mom," he pleaded. "I keep falling.. falling inside the black...the blackness... I can't see, there's no light, I'm slipping.. It's so cold, Mom, please don't leave me here alone!"

She held his hand, saying "Don't worry, Ichigo, you're not alone, I'm here. There's no black, there's just light here. No darkness, no black. I'm here, Ichigo, I'm here, you're not alone..."

If Urahara noticed her tears as she left, he didn't say anything.

Rukia began visiting every day.

Other days, he seemed sane when she came. "I think I'm losing, Rukia," he said, his voice almost gone. "I'm slipping, I can't find a hold. There are too many cracks, and I can't hold them all together-" He stopped, interrupted by another paralyzing attack from the hollow.

The attacks were lasting longer and longer, sometimes for days on end. She talked to Urahara sometimes, before leaving. The door was opened a crack, and they could both see the look of intense pain on his face. His eyes were closed, teeth gritted. He tossed and turned.

"Do you see that look on his face?" the shopkeeper asked one day. "He wants to die. He's begging for death- and end, any end to what he's going through. He's almost gone." He said this all without emotion.

Rukia just watched. _How could it be like this? I've seen Ichigo go things seemingly far worse, and he's always pulled through. Can it really be that bad? He's the strongest person I know, and this makes him whimper like a beaten puppy.. It can't go on like this for very much longer,_ she forced herself to think.

* * *

One Friday, it seemed like an ordinary visit. Ichigo was sleeping when she arrived, but she just quietly slipped into his room like she usually did. He awoke around sunset.

"Hey, Rukia," his voice was a whisper.

"Hi," she whispered back.

"Rukia," he said, "I think I'm done. For real this time." He coughed, great hacking coughs that were painful just to listen to. His eyes closed.

Rukia's eyes widened. "Ichigo Kurosaki, don't you dare leave me!" She put a hand on his shoulder and shook him, hard, a few times. "Don't you dare give up, please, Ichigo, at least a little bit longer-"

She stopped. He opened his eyes again. His brown irises stared into her own violet ones. "I'm sorry, Rukia," he said quietly, his eyes pleading with her to forgive him.

She felt ashamed of herself and took one of his larger hands in her own smaller ones. "It's okay, Ichigo," she said, trying not to cry. "Don't be sorry. I'm sorry."

His eyes closed again. He whispered something, too quiet for her to hear. "What?" she asked, putting her ear close to his mouth. "Don't be," he breathed, and his reiatsu disappeared entirely.

She stared at him a while, to sad to cry or anything else.

In a room down the hall, Urahara cocked his head. "He's gone," he said, almost disbelieving. Tessai looked up. "Tessai, we need to ready everything. I don't want to be unprepared when this hollow wakes up."

"Sir," Tessai nodded.

"Before you do that, though, get Miss Kuchiki out of there. It's not safe."

"Yes sir," Tessai said, and went to get Rukia.

Rukia didn't want to leave. "But, Miss Kuchiki, you don't understand. It's not safe in here anymore! You need to get as far away from here as you can-"

"I'm not leaving!" Rukia was almost screaming. "I can't just leave him here-"

Both Tessai and Rukia froze.

Ichigo -or the body that had been his- opened its eyes. The sclera were black, with golden-yellow irises glowing in the middle. They moved, locking on Rukia.

"Well hey there, girly," he drawled, in a voice that was like Ichigo's, but much... nastier.

Tessai tried to push Rukia out of the room. "You must get out of here, Miss Kuchiki." But Rukia was frozen, staring.

The hollow sat up, then stood. "Well then, where's my sword?" he mused to himself.

"Miss Kuchiki, go!" She started to leave before-

"Ahh, here it is," the hollow cackled, putting his hand behind his back and seemingly pulling a sword out of thin air. He tossed the sword a few times to get the weight of it, then held it pointing at the two shinigami in the room.

"Well, this should be fun," he said happily, a maniacal gleam in his eye, before he lunged, swinging his sword all the way.

* * *

_Sorry to make Ichigo a bit OOC, I know he would have fought more. But, I really wanted to write it this way._

_I may continue this, but only as a little side thing, every once and a while when I feel with it, in my spare time. Not really a major fic, though. If anyone else wants to take it and turn it into a major, full length one, though, just ask me about it. I'll probably say yes ^^_

_So... Yeah. Song belongs to Skillet, Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, and this fic belongs to me :D_

_Thanks for reading ^^_

_-Flameses_


End file.
